World at odds (WAO)

I am thinking, what I shall write on the eve of my return to WAO. I have been keeping away from WAO now for a long time.

I think I can start by writing about the tricky world of humans.

Yes, I am a human like you, but I do not want to be one. I have understood the human characteristics to the finest of details which perturb me a lot.

Humans are greedy but also kind and caring.

Humans are cruel but also loving and compassionate.

That’s what animals also do? I would have written a running commentary to justify the underlying philosophy of human to be self centric and egoist. But that will be speaking on behalf of Ayn.

Coming back to the topic of being human. I have seen learned men debating about how human should act, how should they behave, what is morally right and wrong, but no one is interested to tell human is a defected piece in itself.

Human is something which the Professor tells to be a cube, but in appearance it looks like a cone and it theory it is a solid ball.

Some time I also get convinced by the theory of it being controlled by the extra terrestrial. Even if you keep 2 boys in a confinement from birth, expose them to same kind of knowledge and light, they end up being two different people. I have been highly influenced by the character of Ravana from Indian mythology. He was a learned Brahmin, revered across the land for his virtues and then one day in rage he ruined it all. I am sure that person knew in heart that it is not right but some good old factors made him do things, which have been proven wrong by most of the learned man.

Anyhow I have been the right kind of human on most occasions for last few years, the reason being I get tensed and feel nerves if I do not do things right.

I will keep rolling on more about the technology of humans…..take this to be a kick start….

Labels: Abusive best, Alcohol, alternative, drugs, Fiction/flights of fantasy, Generic/vyom, humour, Life, love, Manthan, panthaism, rebel, Revolution, world view

Chapter after Death

It was a sad expression, an expression he has worn on his face for the first time. Paki had grieved the most; he has been the one emulating him for most of his life. I had reached the funeral services five minutes ago, and was pleased to see so many familiar faces on the last journey of this man, we had known for all these years. We all have been guessing all these years, when it will happen, as the sign of the inevitable were in plenty. He knew his destiny or I shall say he has screwed his destiny all along. I was imagining it to be a big crowd, but rain has made it a small procession. Old blokes too has reservation, he should have meet the fire, rather than rest with others. Even in his death, he did not miss the chance to mock life; something he had contemplated all these years. His will has clearly stated his last wish; he wanted to be cremated like a Catholic, not like a Hindu which he had been from birth. He wanted to be cremated like a Pharo, I should say. His pit now was having his smoke pipe, his guitar and his favorite pairs of sneakers. He had planned for his other half of journey in advance. I had never made my mind to adore this person or hate him. He had been eccentric sometimes, philosophical on rest of the occasion and unpredictable most of the times. I was today attending the last rites of a man, whom we had known all these years by the name of Dhroh “the rebel”. He was not in the league of Che or created a cult like Kurt, but he had really touched us all in some way or the other.

I wanted to leave early, but Chika has hold my hand tight. He was standing in the last row and was the one of the few to know this man from his early days. He looked towards the big Deodar tree and I saw few faces from past. I had been given the hint; I cannot leave the town today. He has to be discussed and summarized for once and all. He does not have the right to haunt us, he has to disappear today with answers to all mysterious he has created in these years.

We were sitting in Rony’s bar or I shall say the “Haze”. Rony was the elder brother of Dhroh and had bought this bar 6 months back. He was the only person to knew him from birth. Rony was 7 year elder to him and I consider him to be real force all these years in helping Dhroh leave his live the way he wanted. Rony and Dhroh were born to an American father and an Indian mother, they grew up in Pensulvania. Their mother and father were renowned surgeons. Fate has tested the brothers too early in their life. They lost both of thy parents in a road accident and were forced to come to India to live with their maternal grandparents very next and closed relatives. If I remember correctly Dhorh was 15 when I fisrt met him in school and his brother starts taking care of his grandpa’s timber business. By the way Dhorh was a name given to him by us, his parents has named him Mukesh and by love they use to call him Mickey. Mukesh Andrew Patton was a strange name for an American; his brother was Rakesh Andrew Patton, another strange name by thy parents.

Let me come back to Rony. Rony was fellow in two contrast color, black or white. Dhroh has once told me, back in states his brother was very lively and free will, but he has never recovered after thy parent’s death. He seems to all of us a sensitive person with all the qualities to make a businessman. He used to help us financially all those years of growing up, not for the reason he had money but for the reason he can always take interest out of our services to him. He was one of the first people to understand Dhroh and was the person who had helped his brother lives his destiny.

We were sitting in Haze and had observed few differences to the last time we had seen this place. Few of the posters have been replaced by one of Dhroh and the music had been the mix of Dhorh’s like with sporadic feeds of his poem recital. I thought this to be a brother’s tribute but even I knew Dhorh was too good to be soul brother of all of us.

We were band of seven who had been part of his short life. Two people were missing, one I suppose was his love of life Kira and the other was Abdul. I had been informed Abdul will be late for the rendezvous. For me it will always be Abdul, one of the main reasons for losing Dhorh at such a fine age. The seven of us were like seven stages of life from Shakespeare’s poem. Other than me there was Paki, I had already introduced him briefly to be the chief mourner. Paki was my first cousin and it was due to me he had got close to Dhorh, I had left him a few years back but my young cousin has the audacity to follow him and choosing him over me, when one day it comes to decision. The third person of this group was Bounty. Bounty was a Bushranger, in the spirit of Ned Kelly. He being there was the greatest proof of Dhroh’s ever infectious personality. I heard they meet up somewhere in Nepal and last time they parted off finally was after two years in some place in Burma. Paki, Ned, me and Chika were sitting across the big room. I forgot to talk about Chika. He was my best friend from the very day I have understood the meaning of friendship. Chika has the gift of being friend and enemy with anyone with ease. I think I will talk about him and Dhroh in chronological order, but for now, It is enough to know, Dhorh has acknowledged him to be part of his soul.

Sonam was also in this room, but he was more comfortable in talking with Rony and were standing away from us. All that I knew about this Tibetian fellow was that once he was a hunter and then with Dhorh he had gone on the Karma spin. But lately I have heard him for being into drugs and all such stuff. Hard to believe, but this too can be true.

Two people were left to join the bunch of chosen ones. I think if Dhroh was ever hurted in his life this people were the one, who would be it. Ahmed was our one year senior to us in school. Our association with him has been a strange one. He was the best guitar player or any kind of musician in our college, till he was displayed by Dhroh, into oblivion. His relation with Dhorh was of hate and jealousy, but Dhroh has his own way of rating people. About Kira,I can only tell you that, she was born to love someone to ruin him. Somewhere even I feel pity for her, but somewhere I feel did her best for him. It is hard for me to relate the life of Dhroh without her involvement.

Coming back to the topic of contention, why we were invited to this place. It was Dhroh’s wish; he knew he can get us under one roof, only when he won’t be around. He was there, I saw Abdul standing next to a tall beautiful gal, wait I know this gal. She was Kira? But what she was doing with Ahmed. Chika pinched me and asked me not to stare like this. They joined us on the table and once all were settled, Rony and Sonam too joined in.

Rony took out 7 envelopes out of his pocked and placed them on table. Everyone was looking with apprehension, for what will be in these envelopes? Rony has few words to speak here, I thought. He told us “I know you all here today, coz you have loved this man like me. He was my brother and my only kin. You all were part of his planned journey. I had few things to share across with you guys, he had left behind. He made these 7 envelopes for you guys. I do not know the content of this envelope, but he assured me, it will solve the mystery of his journey, make sure to open them in chronological order. Take them with you and come back to this place tomorrow. I still remember the words he once said as this very place when Sam left us; you never come back to life from death, as things there are better. He will not come back, but something will live among us. Other thing which you all wanted to know, about his last few days, I will tell you guys for sure, but as requested by him, It cannot happen till tomorrow. He had a planned death, so we need to give this respect. I am highly obliged to see you all and will arrange for stay of all out of towners”. He was a man of few words; best way of answering him was by nodding and picking your envelope and leaves his inn. Ahmed and Kira were the first to rush out. The four of us had planned to hang out at Chika’s place and talk till wee. Sonam, I think had his own place and would be leaving on his own. Rony has some kind of relief on his face.

Chapter II (The number one)

We reached Chika’s hut, it was a modest place for a practicing Physician. The way he changed over all these years, has left me astonished. He has always been a man of Zero or One. There has been no other value in between. I think he was a big zero in school days and today he is a one, thanks to Dhroh’s influence. He just moved into the city, after working religiously in Tribal areas and even know he is working out of his stipulated time to nurse the under privileged. Way to go doc, you had made the difference to this world.

I bought two bottles of old monk to commiserate the loss of one young monk. No reason to drink rum, was the best reason to get drunk, I was made to think about it and I was still thinking. We were all there and somewhere restless to see what was inside our envelopes. Bounty made us all few Indian style pegs and we cheered for the memory of the first monk. We all opened our envelope to find one more envelope inside. On mine, it was written number one and similar numbers were on others envelope. Paki was infuriated for some strange reason, I got it, he thought it was our rating of friendship with him. I asked what his number is and he told 5. Chika replied his was 6 and Kelly had 4 on it. I found no relation to all this. It was by no means a rating; he has obtained a higher level of wisdom at young age. I told them “Rony has asked to keep things in chronology and we need to open our envelope in order and solve this mystery. I was number 1 and we have to find the other number and the content of those envelopes to make a link.

Paki was a restless young boy, just out of his teen; he took no time to open my envelope. He was dumb stuck. The paper in my envelope has something like this written on it

X² – 4X + 4 = 0                                            …………………………………..in progress

Labels: Alcohol, alternative, citric, drugs, Fiction/flights of fantasy, Generic/vyom, humour, Life, love, Manthan, panthaism, pills, Poetry, rebel, Revolution

I saw a cigarette pack, lying dead on my table,

Once it has life, 20 counts of 74 mm sticks,

All have something in common, light golden bud full of aroma,

I knew it has death written all over it, but still

I took it myself and give it to all best of my friends.

Johnny once asked me “Why it is an cuboids, why not in a cylinder”

I told him death need more space and it should be fair.

I starred at that dead cigarette pack, for my amazement,

It has more style than anything in that room.

It can never be filled again; I did crushed it beyond any recognition,

I had plenty of it for the day, but need a few more before I call it a day,

A white pack was thrown at me; it was cheap and shorter than the last one,

But who cares I am sure even the costly one cannot filter death,

Smoking life slowly and slowly, with faint white smoke filling in the room,

It was an invention of life time; I wish it come with some weeds flavor,

I broke the cigarette in half to declare it was an end to the meet,

Many of you may not know, it takes lots of guts and dehydrated feelings

no one can question you When you kill the death in itself by half?

Labels: alternative, Blanks, citric, drugs, Fiction/flights of fantasy, Life, panthaism, rock

This is not a blank; it is something I need to specify soon.

 

It was a cottage, placed in the wilderness,

I was sitting in dark, waiting for them to join,

Slow music playing in, Deer’s and sheep were dancing in my head,

The table in front of me was rocking,

The glass and bottle stare at me imperfectly,

Temptation were dark as always, wait got agonizing,

Golden color in silver light, I cannot be more poetic,

I break the law, took few sip to warm off,

It was cold and unnerving; they never seem to appear,

I gutted one for those, for whom I kept waiting,

I enjoyed it a bit more, wait is always fruitful,

2, 3 and 4, I had enough, to have a new soul,

Then it happened the first one come and sit next to me,

Shuffled the cards, placed the deck on board,

Got a wicked smile, gutted 2 more as a welcome breeze,

5 and 6, no more counts, 2 more come and sat in,

Cards in hand, I did played joker to the game of poker,

The one on east seem to be my shade from young,

The one on west seem to be my image from present,

The one from no direction seem to be my reflection from future,

All laughed with me, drinking my whiskey,

All cried with me, sipping my whiskey,

Last drop spilled on floor, it created magic,

She appeared and all boys vanished,

She grew stronger in color, I grew pale,

I needed more to my head, to make her wane,

She had made it sure, it did not happen,

I got a hiding behind my 6 edged bottle,

She grew brighter in color,

I remembered nothing after that…

I think I slept on floor, milo licking my face,

That’s how often party ends,

It is a voyage of a pendulum,

Time is constant, gravity useless,

Poet in me wakes up, the very next day,,,,

Labels: Abusive best, Ankoen dekhe, Blanks, citric, drugs, Fiction/flights of fantasy, Generic/vyom, Life

I end up reading some one’s blog, I do not knew how to react to it, some how I found it very materialistic but at the other end it to be a true picture of him. May be I judge him or his blog wrong.

Anyhow today post is about something else, it is about things on which you have become dependent. Well there is another word too i.e addiction but that is of little higher order. Well as master always taught me , best way to explain your mind to other is give some examples. So let me put an example here which i thought about.

When you were 13 – 14 year old, most of you had your first desire to have a gf. Some curbed it , some went ahead. But there was a life without woman in life. Suddenly you are old like 25 or 27, woman become necessity of life, either as a soul mate or what i say a mate.

Same thing applies for mobile phones, when they were not there, business were run with same efficiency and people reached all those appointment on time. But now you are used to it, can not live without it for sure. Is it human evolution or degradation I am too naive to make even a comment, but this can be dependable.

I think example list here will keep on rolling, you got dependent on bus first, made some money got dependent on bike, made some more money got dependent on car. One day you got fired, money is no more there, you start calling it recession, now you can not live in the same condition in which you spent your best part of life, when you were untouched by many dependencies.

I would love to mention here the movie Wall- E , this really put in forefront the human degradation to forefront. We will have interactive TV in future of highest order, if you not like Amir in Gajini, you can replace him with Sharukh. People who had seen ram leela will be people who will be extinct by than, I think they are already.

I do not know what this post evoke here or what it wants' to get out on his forum. But I can say, even addicts should not be hated, they just take dependency to higher order. Whoever had an experience of any better substance will tell you, life is something else after hallucination. Why we hate those guys who make a decision to enjoy there life by destroying themselves. Was Dev D and old Devdas, really sad and mad for a chick. They were addicted to pain and alcohol, so what better excuse than her.

I leave you here with one question, someone take away all you dependency for a month, what will you do? 

Roger Captain O Captain….

Aj

Labels: citric, drugs, Manthan, pills

No i am not only quoting a line from "the sun also rises" by Ernest Hemingway but i would like to discuss the movie by Mr Gondry, who i may add with the great Charlie Kaufman also wrote a very original screenplay; a rarity.
The rating and chart rank may or maynot do justice for some but the fact that you have not seen this movie shows what you have missed in lieu to this epitome of indie-cinema making.
Can we erase our memories, good or bad? few weeks back researchers cried with joy on proving through tests that a not-so-smiley-faced pill is good enough to do the act. The morality of such a discovery was instantly questioned by some, simply because - would you like a rapist to forget his wicked deed simply so that he starts a new life maybe to commit the aghastly crime again? The notion of learning from mistakes could be wiped off altogether. How Robotic ! - Reset the counter. Eternal Sunshine of the Criminal Mind !
The movie glorifies coincidence. Two different people fall madly in love, differences and fights, the girl erases the guy first( *stresses*) , the guy follows only to discover each other again on the same beach and eventually learn about each other's neural experiments; only to commit again to give it another shot.
Isn't this what movies do best,the notion that true love comes back again and again - Forrest gump(its not a confidence-booster flick but the greatest love story ever told),Vicky Cristina barcelona(another maniacal tale of love-hate-love) etc...
So why would you erase your memories? Can you not start afresh without Shift + Delete?
Relationships are very complicated.You don't learn from them; they leave a trace , in your bone marrow too.
To learn and to replicate is a matter of choice, but to overdo and make a mess of it is simply suicidal.
Class A drugs often show these side effects and sometimes you also experience walking down the tunnel to discover something you had forgotten completely but this euphoria of temporary chemical induced madness, boy beware!!
Defragmentation of the brain's hard disk isn't gonna boost your artificial intelligence, coz imagine if it all comes back , how scared will you be? trust me, experiments often go wrong....

PS:
only the "west" knows me...to the others, Privet ! and well you might one day. Till then keep the flame alive, thanks for the invitation and i'll post as and when i can.

Eternal Sunset of the Lover's mind

I don't think you understand
I don't think you care
Are you intimate i doubt
So why did you share?

We were crazy
We fell when we should have risen
Dusty tides of golden sand
Blew me off my prison

To come to terms she is dead
To realize she is dead yeah
Maybe i should try
To find her in a lie...


She is dead and gone
She is dead and gone
She is dead and gone
I can't find her..........
-- Rockshu

Labels: drugs, love, movies, pills